"All beginnings are lovely:' a French proverb reminds us, but intimacy is not about that initial "Velcro stage" of relationships. It is only when we stay in relationships over time -whether by necessity or choice- that our capacity for intimacy is truly put to the test. Nor is the challenge of intimacy limited to the subject of romantic pairings. A primary love relationship reflects only one opportunity for intimacy in a world that is rich with possibilities for connectedness and attachment.
Dr. Lerner takes a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these key relationships -be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or a family member that we have written off. And she teaches us about "the differences that make a difference"- the changes we can make in one or two significant relationships that will affect our capacity for intimacy and selfhood over the long haul.
Rather than focusing narrowly on "techniques" for change, Dr. Lerner offers the reader a solid framework for understanding how intimate relationships operate and how we get in and out of trouble with the most important people in our lives. Picking up where The Dance of Anger left off, she shows us how good relationships can thrive and endure and difficult ones can be healed. Through vivid and poignant examples from case studies and stories from her own life, Dr. Lerner illuminates the specific steps that women can take toward a more solid self and a more intimate connectedness with others.
Praise
"A wise and compassionate book that will teach a reader much about the complex emotions our family and love relationship engender!"
- Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D.
Author of Intimate Strangers
"Subtle and literate, The Dance of Intimacy is like a long, revealing conversation with a wiase and compassionate friend."
- Maggie Scarf
Author of Unfinished Business
