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The Dance of Connection
Our
capacity for creativity, wisdom, and joy
depend on connecting well with they key people
in our lives. Lerner teaches us how to navigate
our most difficult relationships with integrity, courage and
joyous conviction. The Dance of Connection shows us
the way.
Dr. Harriet Lerner takes us beyond The Dance of Anger
and shows us how to "find our voice" with
the people who matter the most. With wit and wisdom, Lerner
shows us how to "set things right" and heal the most
painful disconnections. The Dance of Connection tackles
the most difficult problems we face with the people who hurt
us.
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- What is the
"the two step" that will transform any conversation?
- How
do we find our voice when we are rejected or cut off? And
why won't the person who has harmed us apologize?
- How do we take
a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate?
- What positive
steps can we take when the other person is wearing us down with
criticism, negativity, excuses, demands or irresponsible behavior?
- How do we
put an insensitive parent on the hot seat?
The Dance of Connection tells us when to lighten up and
let things go, and when we need to take specific steps to heal betrayals,
inequalities, and broken connections. Whether you're dealing with
a spouse, a partner, a parent or best friend, she shows us how to
speak and act with honor and personal integrity even when the other
person behaves badly, or won't talk at all.
Praise
“Lerner does a remarkable job teaching us new steps in the
complicated, mysterious, painful and beautiful dance that we call
family life.”
- Mary Pipher, Ph.D
Author of Reviving
Ophelia
“I
love Harriet Lerner’s work.”
- Anne Lamott
Author of Traveling
Mercies
“The
Dance of Connection can save your marriage, a friendship, and
your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother—even
your boss. Lerner is one of the wisest, most sophisticated psychology
writers alive today. Her book is brimming with practical advice,
sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring, and a wealth of
ah-yes-how-true wisdom into human nature. Lerner knows us all so
well.”
- Edward M. Hallowell,
M.D.
Author of Driven
to Distraction
“Accessible
and well organized…Highly recommended.”
- Library Journal Review
“Lerner rescues us from the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships with her unique clarity and profound intelligence. This book is for everyone.”
-Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.
Author of After the Affair
Reviews
From
Publishers Weekly
Psychotherapist and bestselling author Lerner has been teaching
readers how to "dance" with difficult relationship issues
throughout the past decade, and remains one of the most helpful
writers on the topic. With her familiar mix of conversational language
and profound empathy for people (primarily women) who are struggling
with the most important relationships in their lives, she now tackles
the verbal challenges of life's most painful conversations. Far
from trite "communication skills" or "assertiveness
training," her book offers lucid and concrete guidance on how
to speak out in a wide variety of problems. Recognizing that "your
brain will turn to mush" when trying to explain yourself in
an emotional state, she offers practical advice on sharing vulnerability;
voicing concerns, complaints or requests; apologizing; listening
and setting limits on how much one is willing to listen to others'
complaints and negativity. Accepting that we can never guarantee
that others will hear us or respond as we'd like, Lerner focuses
on the authentic expression of self, "maximiz[ing] the chance
of being heard" and keeping the connection open, despite complex
emotions, misunderstandings and silences.
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